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Q&A with Rob Mills, aka The Big Bachelor Kahuna, aka The Only Person We Want to Speak With Today

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Who is Rob Mills, you ask??  “Millsy,” as we like to call him (Twitter handle = @millsy11374) is none other than a Senior VP at ABC Entertainment.  Ye know – NBD. And on the morning of the day that is like the Super Bowl of reality TV finales – where both Chris Soules’ heart and the Bachelorette crown are still anybody’s game – Millsy graciously agreed to do a little round of ping pong Q&A with us.

Q: Where do you hail from?

A: Glastonbury, CT

Q: Where’s the coolest place you’ve ever visited?

A: Probably a tie between Switzerland and Tahiti, both of which I went to courtesy of The Bachelor/ette.

Q: If you had a personal theme song, what would it be?

A: Hmmm….I feel like that changes all the time. Right now let’s say “Lunatic Fringe” by Red Rider.

Q: If you came to one of Steph’s Monday night parties, what party favor would you bring?

Bach party

A:  Roses of course! As well as a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.

Q:  K.  Now that we’ve gotchoo all acquainted, level with us for a sec: How do some of these girls manage to pass the psych tests before they go on the show? …seriously.  Cuz the folks at home all know that most seasons, there are just a few “special” gems that are a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

Crayzays

A:  They are all tested and they ALL pass. We take it very seriously… even if we do make them fill it out in crayon.

Q:  Favorite Bachelor / Bachelorette of all time?  Favorite Bachelor(ette) couple of all time?

A:  I love them all and they are all tied for first. That being said, I will always have a special place in my heart for Brad Womack. That guy is awesome.

Brad Womack

I love all the couples as well. As really funny and fun. I do think Jason and Molly had to endure the most and they’re really cool people so let’s say them!

JasonandMolly

Q:  Of all the dating & reality TV shows out there, watching the Bach is like a national pastime.  Why do you think people in America (*cough*) like Steph are so invested in the show?

A:  I wish I knew! I think it’s the combination of comedy (intentional and unintentional) and the fact it’s cast so well that you really care about everyone on the show.

Q:  Other than yours truly, who are some of your favorite Bachelor(ette) commentators?  Jason Biggs and his wife (Jenny Mollen), Anna Kendrick and Possessionista crack us up – anyone else we should be following for a good chuckle every Monday night Tuesday morning?

A:  Eric Stonestreet from Modern Family live tweets and is hysterical. Also, if you don’t know about @bachelorburnbk you’re missing out.  Also Andrea Lavinthal, Jennifer Weiner, One Chicklette and Emily L. Foley are all great tweeters from Bachelornation.

Q:  We know you can’t tell us who the next Bachelorette is (pleaseletitbekaitlynpkeaseletitbekaitlyn), but can you give us a clue??

A: Watch Monday and watch closely.  All I can say is you’re not going to want to miss this!

Sidenote: We had some further chatter about this after the Q&A, and also heard some other rumblings which led us to believe that there is going to be a MAJOR curveball when it comes to tonight’s Bachelorette selection.  Like, ma-jor.  Steph’s prediction? They do something outta left field, like bring Nikki Ferrell back… or even pull a Brad Womack and do Andi Dorfman Part Deux (but that’s probably too soon). Confession – we might be more excited for this revelation than to see who Chris actually picks. #oosie

Nikk-Ferrell

Q: Put yourself in the girls’ shoes for a second: would YOU move to the thriving metropolis of Arlington, Iowa if it meant being the future Mrs. Prince Farming?

farmerChris2

A:  REALLY good question. I live in Los Angeles but do love the pleasures of small town America (as I assume you girls do as well, or do you not miss Mellencamp country?) and could totally do it.  Plus, the one thing we haven’t really shown you about Chris is he’s really funny.  It would be a good life.  Maybe that’s tomorrow’s shocking twist and I end up with him.

Q:  Best part of working on the show.  Go.

A:  Honestly… working with amazing producers and crew and also how much joy this show brings to people.

Q:  Last but not least: For all those souls out there looking for love and dying to throw their hats in the ring for upcoming seasons, what are the 3 qualities you guys look for when you’re casting.

A:  An outgoing personality, an at least cursory knowledge of yourself and a sense of fun. 

Shtoophy (Karrie’s note: *Ahem, Bachelor producers, I’ve got the girl for you… you’re welcome)

(Steph’s note: *Karrie, just for that, the abominable snowman pic of you is hitting the streets this week.)

Thanks fer playin’, Millsy!!!  If anyone needs us, we’ll be chomping at the bit and anxiously awaiting tonight’s finale.

Cheers!!

Karrie & Steph

Bach Week 9: The Women Tell All

1.  Honestly, Crouching Mom / Hidden Cougar could’ve been any one of our moms after about a half a glass of Pinot Grigio.  There were envious 50-something-year-old loins aflame everywhere last night…  Love it.

cougar

2.  Omg, the last party they crashed.  BAHAHHAHHA.

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3.  Ashley’s faces were ON POINT last night.  I can’t believe these words are about to fall out of my mouth, but now I think I might have a soft spot for my old buddy Tarantulashes.

Also, this blog post will self-destruct in 5 seconds…

ash

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4.  I heard Britt has spent the past few months recovering from “heartbreak” back home in Michigan… So now, listen: As a corn-fed girl, I know better than anyone a) what happens in the Midwest and b) what happens in the Midwest in the winter time… as is evidenced by the fact that my pants split over Christmas.

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And that is why I can say without hesitation that the Midwest meat & taters phenomenon skipped Britt’s hips and landed right in her cheeks.  Did I just say that out loud??  I did.  Oosie.  But she looked WAY noticeably different last night.  And obviously by different, I mean bloated.

britt's face

5.  Haaaaaaa – Who was it that said, re: Ashley I – “…yeah but her mouth is not a virgin.” #onpoint #largemouthbass

6.  I thought THIS shenanigan would never end.  No one won in the battle of Britt vs. Carly.  We all just lost hours of our lives.

britt v carly

7.  When Jillian bowed up and went to town on (everybody) who was ganging up on Britt, I kept waiting for her veins to burst and her muscles to explode and her dress to fall into shreds on the ground, like the Incredible Hulk.  Then, I realized that I think she wants to set up camp in Britt’s drawers.

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8.  Oh hey Cricket from Hart of Dixie!  I love that show and I can’t help it.  Judge away.

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9.  Can somebody get Britt a ponytail holder? Cuz if she touches her weave one more time it’s gonna fall out.  While we’re at it, she could use 7 boxes of tissues and a mani.

hairtie

10.  This is the second to last thing I’m going to say about her: Honey.  If you & Chris were MFEO, one moment in time because of something one other girl said couldn’t possibly have ruined it.  Pretty sure you left the show because Chris said: “That’s not how I want my wife to act.”  Not because you & Carly had a spat on the playground at recess.

11.  Somebody get this poor chile some under eye concealer.  Or a nap.

dark circles

12.  Kelsey saying “I know this is a love story about Chris, but this is my love story too” reminds me of the time she wrote her husband’s entire obituary, and 75% of it was about her and her accomplishments.  She frightens me beyond belief.

13.  What’s *really* amazing is how many times I think she rehearsed that Amazing speech.  The jig is up sister!  Yer scary and America knows it.

amazing

14.  Behold: My hero.

ashley s

I think she officially might be the most hilarious person – maybe the smartest – and by far the best at mocking the show – ever to be on.  I was in effing stitches, definitely let out a little pee, and fell over laughing 17x during her 4 minute segment.  Best lines included:

There was only one cat, and it didn’t reply.” // “It’s so weird… just that we’re all on TV.” // “I was really bored.”

Ashley on Bachelor in Paradise will be the best gift I’ve ever gotten.

15.  Also, her skin is FLAW-LESS.  Crazy becomes her.

ashley s skin

16. Did Jade got her painted-on-red-dress from Stiffler’s Mom’s closet??

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17.  Last thing I’m gonna say about Britt: she *almost* had me feeling sorry for her for being misunderstood.  But if any of us had any doubt that she is artfully skilled at talking out of both sides of her mouth, how about the time she LITERALLY said to Chris: “I respect you and I don’t blame you for believing Carly!” and 10 seconds later said, “I knew you weren’t that small-minded and would never take someone else’s word like that.”  Gowl, do you even hear yourself?

both sides of her mouth

18.  Why is he in a clammy sweat?  Yikes.  Somebody get this poor guy a towel and a Xanax.  And for the love of God, a media coach.

cold sweat

19.  Dear Chris: if I’m the girl you chose, or even one of the final two, the absolute last thing I wanna hear you say is that your choice to keep me was like throwing darts in the dark.  Huh??

darts

20.  Can we all discuss how stunning Kaitlyn looks, and how poised, articulate and hilarious she is?!  She’s come a long way for me. #bachelorette2015

stunner

21.  Did Jade seriously suggest that if Chris was uncomfortable he should’ve said: “Let’s save these (naked photos of your labia flapping in the wind) for something special”?  Like, fer WHAT?  For the highlight reel at your wedding?

special

22.  Loved Ashley / Tarantulashes’ dress.

23.  Did you see who he ran to bear hug first after the show closed??  Carly.  Shows to go ya, Bambi.

What did I miss??  Who’s pumped for the 3 hour finale?  And if you live in San Diego, duh – come over.  Biggest Bachelor Rager of the Year!

xoxoxoxoxo,

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