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SAG Fashion Recap in a Snap

Did you guys watch the SAG Awards??  I caught a smidge of ‘em, but man – was it just me or was the fashion WAY better than it was at the Globes?  I thought Rosemund, Julianne, Felicity and a few other gals were totally redeemed.

She’s darling.

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But her 7th grade gym class ‘do is not.

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She’s insane.

Sofia

She might be cross-eyed, but that sunshiny yellow is stunning.

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I can’t help myself.  I love this!

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Perky perfection.

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Wish this were a full mini instead of a mullet mini.

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Phew!  I just saw Cake last night, which scared the ever-living daylights out of me.  Delighted to see her shampooed, coiffed and not lying across the train tracks.

Jennifer Aniston

I LOVE her earrings!  And clutch.  And that’s the nicest thing I have to say about that.

Mayim Bialik

Best beaded number of the night.

Paula Patton

WHAT in the name of Sam Hill.  Is this a Tim Burton movie?

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Anna for President!  I bet Mr. Bates has a gun in his pants right now.

Joanne Froggatt

Best impersonation of Lea Michele.  Who, in my girl Joan’s words is: “Always so da*n pleased with herself.”

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I don’t like the ‘skeeter net dresses.  Even on my girl.

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And especially not the tiger print skeeter net dresses.  With one tiger print boobie to match.

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I can’t explain it, but I like this.

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She is like a precious, stunning gem.  That color is perfection.

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She never wears my favorite thing of the night but always looks amazing.

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I dunno about this tuxedo Catwoman onesie, but good heavens.  Look at Jules!!  I’m so happy to see her, she could’ve come in a potato sack.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I just did a Downton Abbey marathon this weekend, and I’m quite certain she stole the fabric from that dress from the Crawleys’ Drawing Room.  I’m telling Mrs. Hughes.

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What’d you Campers think??

xoxo,

Steph's Scanned Signature

Golden Globes Fashion: The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

MOST EFFORTLESS.

Love the ponytail, LOVE the dress, love it all.  Cuz you know I love a good doily, but a bedazzled doily?!!  Be still my heart.  She’s my best dressed.

Chrissy Tiegen chrissy

AMAL + THE GLOVES.

Now.  I can’t remember whether the last time I saw gloves like that was when Cinderella had ‘em on at the ball, or when I wore ‘em to my high school prom in 1998, but seeing as how she’s the smartest and most accomplished woman on the planet, she can do whatever she wants.

amal

…AND CLOONEY’S SPEECH ABOUT HER?  I CRIED.

Go ahead and raise your hand if you didn’t…  That’s what I thought.

george and amal

SPEAKING OF CUTE COUPLES…

How adorable are they?  The most attractive thing about that man – other than his sense of humor – is how much he loves his wife.

john and emily

SAME GOES FOR CHANNING.

Who obviously doubled-up on his spray tans for yesterday’s festivities.  And wifey looked like a real pretty little sweet tart.

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BEST DRESSED FOR THE ELKS LODGE HOLIDAY PARTY, ca 1996.

Imsorryimsorryimsorry…  but between the – well – cumberbund, the slicked back hair and the unflattering sequin top portion of this, it just missed for me.  Legs and earrings look great though.

aniston

YOU KNOW IT’S TRUE.

Allison Williams and Devo Golden Globes 2015

She obviously looks amazing.  In an interesting Wizard of Oz meets The Jetsons meets Devo way.

LEAST UNEXPECTED.

She’s beautiful and sweet and I adore her, but even Gus could’ve predicted the wrapped one shoulder gown, because it’s what she wears to every. awards. show. every. single. year.  Yawn.

Amy Adams

SO HAPPY FOR HER!

And love that she used her speech to send such a good message and allow a rape survivor to be heard.  Apparently she’s got as good a soul in real life as she does on Downton. #annaorbust #heartofgold

anna

THEY’RE NOT UGLY.

adam and bahati

BOYCOTT NEEDLES, SAVE YOUR FACES!

I just watched Oceans Twelve yesterday – back in the day when Catherine Zeta-Jones was not a spring chicken but was still au naturel and oh-so-stunning.  I don’t have the pressure of being under a microscope so I really can’t judge when it comes to all the needles they wanna stick in their faces and all the which-ways they wanna get tucked and stretched and collagen’d… but heavens.  Between her, Renée Zellweger and – God, it pains me because I love her so much – but Kate Hudson, I want to cry.  Because I’m afraid I won’t be able to recognize them by next year.

catherine

I WOULD’VE LOVED THIS IF IT HAD FIT.

The colors are gorge, I love that she got outside the box, and this does look like a work of art…  just 4 sizes too big.  Tailor that sucker and remove the mesh, and we’ve got a contender.

claire

ALSO, EFFORTLESS.

You hafta admire how at ease she was and how comfortable she seemed in her own skin… Which we’ll all be seeing plenty of come Valentine’s Day.

dakota

PACEY, YOU OFFICIALLY OUTKICKED YOUR COVERAGE.

Good God.  Is she royalty and we don’t know it?  Scarcely makes a fashion misstep. Always looks so regal.  And her baubles were stunning.

diane

OH SUGARPLUM, PLEASE EAT SOMETHING!

I’d settle for a saltine.  I adore and have so much respect for her.  And that is why I think I’m going to ship her 15 Royal Feasts and 85 orders of half baked breadsticks with 47 cheese sauces from Pizza King, ‘fore she blows away in the next gust of wind.

eat

THAT DRESS LOOKS REAL COMFORTABLE.

If I couldn’t have worn Chrissy Tiegen’s, I may’ve chosen this.  And I can’t take anything away from her because she looks beautiful.  But personally, the Heidi hair almost took some of the va-va-voom away from the dress and made it too….  too literal-Grecian or almost too juvenile for me.

emily blunt

blunt

COOLEST CHICK ON THE CARPET.

How can you not love her?  SHE WORE PANTS!!!  Bad ass move, bad ass chick, and seemed the most comfortable in her own skin of anyone on the carpet.  She’s hands-down tied for best dressed.

emma

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GET IT, LYNETTE!

I don’t know if she had any air time but when I saw her, I did a triple take.  Looking better than ever.  The Desperate Housewife cleans up like a boss.

fecility

THIS DRESS IS GOING TO SWALLOW HER WHOLE.

She’s so wittle (!!) and it’s SO BIG.  But the color is beautiful, and she is beautiful. Have you ever looked at her eyes up close?  They’re like, yellow.  She’s one of those peeps who looks prettier than anyone you’ve ever seen without makeup.  Loved her in Like Crazy so can’t wait to see her in The Theory of Everything.

felicity

WHAT A BOSS.

She puts 48 (or however old she is) and all the other chicks on the carpet to shame.

jlo

MOST ENVIABLE SVELT FIGURE.

This angle doesn’t do it justice, but she looks amazing.  I don’t know if she just takes impeccable care of herself or has an impeccable plastic surgeon, but I think it’s the former.  She just keeps getting better with age.  I also loved her updo.

julianna

EH.  MEH.

Not my favorite dress, but she’s still a champ.

julianne moore

MOST BANGIN’ BOD.

Good GOD her body – especially her duh-donk – looked amazing.  I commend her for her hard work in the gym, and for rocking that thing with so much confidence. And I’m pretty sure chicks-the-world-over will hit the treadmill extra hard today, and boys the-world-over put pics of her last night in the spank bank.  But…

kate hudson

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…last year’s dress – and last year’s face, when it was so much more au-naturel, still takes the cake for me.  And now if anyone needs me, I’m going to go repent for saying anything remotely derogatory about my homegirl.

Kate last year

LOVE THE COLOR COMBO.  DON’T LOVE THE DRESS.

But I do love that she always goes for something edgy and unexpected.

kate mara

The hair was cool too – did you see it?  Slash who’d throw somebody that adorable into the subway tracks??

kate mara2

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ZAC POSEN, YOU’RE A WIZARD.

I just pinned that dress the other day and almost died – it is it the epitome of perfection.  And it was perfect for her.  But it almost hurts me to give her props because she’s been so rude and unpleasant for so many years.  The recent PR blitz to revamp her image is a valiant effort, but I still have a bad taste in my mouth.

katherine

DAYUM, JOEY!

Singledom’s doin’ you proud sister.

katie holmes

katie

LITTLE BO PEEP MEETS THE BAIT & TACKLE SHOP.

I don’t even know if I have words.  This was like, a square dance skirt hanging around her neck + the kind of funny things that attract fishies that I used to find in Bud’s tackle box + some exotic insects you might see preserved in a glass cube. Worst dressed.  Though I doubt she cares, and that makes me love her.

keira2

keira

LOVE HER FOR ALWAYS DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

The dress wasn’t to die for, but her gorgeous face is.

kerry

FROM THE JO ANN FABRICS BOLT OF SILK ON CLEARANCE COLLECTION.

I’m lost.  I don’t understand.  Someone help.

kristen

FROM THE LITTLE MERMAID’S “UNDER THE SEA” COLLECTION.

Coming to a BP Juniors’ department near you, come Prom season.

lana

LOOKS JUST LIKE THE CRAFT PROJECT I DID IN COLLEGE WHEN I GLUED 100 SILK FLOWERS TO A LAMPSHADE WITH MY GLUE GUN.
lupita

 ALWAYS MANAGES TO LOOK 20 YEARS OLDER THAN SHE REALLY IS.

And I don’t know how or why that happens.  That said… I admire the use of the Pantone Color of the Year, as well as the very gracious acceptance speech.  PS, if you caught a glimpse of her walking up to the stage, then you saw her hot pink dyeables peep out from under her mauve/marsala dress. #stillconfused

maggie

BEST COLOR.

And complete with a red lip?  Stunning.

naomi

FROM THE DEATH BECOMES HER SENIORS COLLECTION.

On the rack right next to the Alfred Dunner matching pantsuits I used to buy my Grammy for Christmas.  At LS Ayres.

OOTNB

PERFECT.

reese

OH ROSEMUND… WHY DOESN’T THIS FIT?

Did they fit her for this dress 5 weeks ago when she was still 9 months pregnant?? I’m so confused.  I think she is one of the most beautiful, talented girls in the world. And I admire her iron-clad set of balls for jumping into this thing mere weeks after popping out a nugget.  But why did her tailor pull a Gone Girl on ‘er right before Globes?  Also – I feel like if you move 2 degrees in any direction, you might spy an areola.

rosemund

INSIDE OUT AND BAD ALL OVER.

…also, I think I’m just bitter that she beat out my girls Claire Danes & Robin Wright.

ruth wilson

TOO MUCH GOING ON.

Brocade + a metal belt + the flower in the hair = a lot goin’ on.  But if I look like her at 50 when I’m 27, I’ll be a happy girl.

salm

MAYBE THE ONLY OTHER COUPLE TO RIVAL GEORGE & AMAL / JOHN & EMILY FOR CUTENESS.

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CUTEST COUPLE IN THE TWEEN CATEGORY.

cutest teen couple

JESSICA CHASTAIN OR JESSICA RABBIT?

Damn girl.  Rawr.

chastain

FLAWLESS, BUT SO VERY MISS AMERICAN PAGEANT-Y.

heidi

I LIKE AND RESPECT HER SO MUCH, SO I PLEAD THE 5th.

…but you know what I’m thinking, so I don’t even have to say it.

lena2

5’4″ WITH THE FRO, 4’9″ WITHOUT IT.

And maybe 60 pounds soaking wet.  But he’s Prince, so whatever.

Prince

ALSO:

  • Was it 400 degrees in there?  Why was everyone sweating?
  • Why did Matthew McConaghey look like a lumberjack/serial killer and sound like Abe Lincoln?

Last but not least, I hope if you took nothing else away from the show last night, it was this:

work and love, julianne moore

via Real Simple’s Instagram

That’s all I got!  What did you guys think?

xoxo,

Steph's Scanned Signature

All images via Harpers Bazaar, E! Online & Instagram.