Santy Santy SANTY Claus (!) It’s me, Stephie. If you must know, I may’ve fouled up a little this year. Here’s why…
(1) Because I just posted this pic of the Abominable Snowman Karrie, which officially renders me the worst friend in history. And that’s what she gets for putting chicken nuggets all over my face while I was sleeping, and then posting pictures of it on our blog. (2) Because I didn’t act my age; not for 1 second of the last 345 days. (3) Because I got into some *sweet* shenanigans in Mexico. (4) Because every time I did what I’m doing in this picture, I blamed it on Gus. (5) Because I pretended to host Thanksgiving, but when it got down to the nitty gritty – doing the gizzard gutting, which is where you separate the girls from the men – I chickened out and made my mom do it. (6) Because I picked on Karrie’s husband Tim (TEEM!) all year long. And in my defense, he totally deserved it.
But I can still give you my list and click my heels 3 times and hope for the best, right? I also did lots of nice things… like always letting Gus lick the leftover peanut butter off of the butter knife in the morning, supporting my local Goodwill, and giving popcorn to the homeless man with no teeth on the corner of Armitage and I-90. So with that said, here’s what I’m drooling over this holiday season. And let’s dream big and start with pipe dreams, shall we?
MAYOR OF CRAZY TOWN WISH LIST
1. The CHLOE MARCIE LARGE LEATHER TOTE. There is nothing in the name of Sam Hill that could ever implore me to spend that amount of cheese on a bag. Which is why I’m asking you to spend it for me, Santa. Until then, I’ll continue carrying my nearly 10-year old Furla that’s already been reconditioned twice and is beaten to a pulp.
2. MADELINE WEINRIB YELLOW & LILAC OVERDYED SUZANI. This thing seriously just made me whoosh my drawers. But I mean, yo. There’s not even pricing listed on the site… kinda like a restaurant menu with no prices. That’s when you know you’re really in trouble. So until a money tree sprouts in my backyard, I will continue to pine and peruse lookalikes on Etsy. Sukan’s Etsy Shop is good for that kinda stuff.
3. ISABEL MARANT ETOILE TOP… which I might have to sell my 1st born for. But isn’t it lovely?
4. The VILLA PALOMA PALM RING from Tiffany’s. Classic enough to be a great everyday piece, but chunky/wide enough to make a statement. Everything Paloma designs for Tiffany’s rocks my face off. Perhaps that’s what happens when your dad’s name is Pablo Picasso – you inherit some creative genius genes.
5. LEATHER BIKER JACKET by June. I bought *the* perfect leather jacket in Florence (Italy) 3 years ago, but I bought it in the wrong color because I was trying to branch out, and now I never wear it. Next time, it’s black leather or bust.
6. CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN PIGALLE 100 PATENT-LEATHER PUMPS. Because I have about 8 pairs of crusty pumps I no longer wear, so at $80-ish a pop (times 8), that would *almost* justify this purchase in a quality not quantity sort of way… right??
THE KEEPIN’ IT REAL WISH LIST
Phew, that was fun. But since I’m a mortal, not a Kardashian, here are some more down-to-earth ideas for Santy Claus…
1. I absolutely positively need this iPHONE 4/4S LEATHER WALLET SLEEVE, $50. Because I change bags – from my work bag to my crusty Furla bag to weekend clutches – about 5x/week. Which means my credit cards, license and iPhone that are loose in each bag get lost about 5x/week. If I could pop my necessities in this little ditty and then just pop that from bag to bag, I’d be all set.
2. STACKABLE, MISMATCHED VINTAGE RINGS, in shades of vintage gold and turquoise, comme ca:
But quite often, glorious images like the above get pinned from those sites where you can never, ever track back to the original source. Better to scout them at estate sales and antique stores and layer ‘em over time, but below are some close seconds I found on the fly:
3. NIKE ZOOM STRUCTURE TRIAX RUNNING SHOES, $99. In size land canoe (10). I have been a long-time devotee of the Asics Gel Kayano, but these were just as cushy without being bulky. And ever since I had my iPod stolen and ran the treads off my current kicks, my pants have gotten a wee bit tighter. So, I should probably upgrade my kicks before I bust a seam in my jeans.
5. H&M POM POM HAT, $15. Don’t you feel like this is something Ralphie was wearing in A Christmas Story? Love.
6. EVERYDAY CARRY KEYCHAIN SCREWDRIVERS, $9. It doesn’t get more utilitarian than this. Genius!
7. TORY BURCH TUMBLED LEATHER REVA FLAT in black, $195 (size 10). I had these in the tan shade up until a few months ago when they mysteriously went missing. I suspect they are lying in a hole somewhere in the backyard… or in the pit of Gus’ stomach.
8. KENTON SORENSON iPAD PORTFOLIO IN BUTTERY LEATHER, $190. Doubles as a chic little clutch-thing… keeps me from carrying my big honking over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder Swiss Army bag into meetings.9. STATEMENT JEWELRY. I wanna wear Lulu Frost’s Triple Beach Plum Earrings, $170, with a white t-shirt and jeans, and after that I wanna wear ‘em to a black tie wedding. Great staple. Little pricey though. This WHITE BAUBLE BIB NECKLACE would also get some solid wear and looks way more expensive than it is at $34.99.
10. TUFTED LINEN DINING CHAIRS from Nest Furniture in Chicago, about $200 each. I bought only 2 of these before I moved to Columbus because I had visions of mismatched but still perfectly coordinated seating… but after 6 months of not having found the right chairs to mish-mash with, I realize I made a rook mistake and should’ve bought(en) 2 more. That one’s for you, Newman.
11. VINTAGE CHLOE CLUTCH, $35. And via eBay! C’est un steal, and perfect to grab before you scoot to cocktails. BANG – love it. Need it. Gotsta have it.
12. A good ‘ol MANI PEDI FROM ATTRACTIVE NAILS in Columbus, $45. A little pricier than other salons, but they are meticulous and do the best mani-pedis I’ve ever had… and that includes all the snobby salons I’ve been to in Chicago. And a word to the wise: if you want something other than OPI polish, bring it with you, cuz that’s all they stock.
With all that said, I don’t really need anything (well… except for the Chloe Marcie bag. Just kidding.. Sort of.) In fact, it took me a long time to think up enough stuff to fill this list that I legitimately might like to have. 2012 has been by far the best and happiest year of my little existence, so as long as I can take a little Christmas break and not think about work, hang out with my family & friends in my sweatpants, spoon Gus, watch It’s a Wonderful Life, and eat frosted sugar cookies, I’ll be happier than a pig in sh*t.
Stay tuned this week for Gift Guides (!) For the Home, For Her & For Him. True to form, Karrie and I are coming out with ours about 2 weeks late. Whoosie daisy.
Merry Christmas to you!!