House Beautiful

Do you know what “The Bachelor” is?

…other than a train wreck, a waste of brain cells, and borderline painful to watch?

It’s an excuse to mini-rage on a Monday! Much like Book Club, it’s a reason to have your friends over, pop open some vino, nosh on some good food, and round-table rip-to-shreds everything that goes down on the Most Dramatic Season E-VER of the show. It almost makes Monday like the caboose of a 3-day weekend every week.

A few weeks ago, I made Karrie’s Turkey Chili for Jess & Mary – two of my whip-smart girlfriends who also happen to be totally hilarious and TOTALLY ruthless. Letting those two loose with an easy target like ABC’s “The Bachelor” is like watching a comedy routine. I was literally doubled-over, howling/laughing – the way you do when no noise comes out of your mouth, but tears come out of your eyes. My landlord actually called upstairs to ask “what in the @#$%” was going on. I’m pretty sure that was the painfully cheesy episode where Ashley What’s-Her-Last-Name and Brad went to the carnival. And then we all ralphed in perfect unison.


I give up though – that show is sheer garbage entertainment, and I’m totally hooked. Between Voldemort Michelle’s shenanigans (have you noticed they play circus freak music when she talks?? priceless), Ashley H’s self-induced meltdowns, Brad’s shrink coming on and spewing crap like, “Brad, this is therapy for you, make out with as MANY girls as possible,” and girls jumping into Brad’s arms, à la “1-2-3-WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” – it’s JUST too good.

So why don’t you shoot out an email invite to some friends, cue the DVR, bop over to the groc after work, and whip up some comfort food for your homies? Here are a few ideas…


1. Called in sick to work today and have a few extra hours this afternoon, try this Boeuf Bourguignon Soup recipe from Martha Stewart. It’s a twist on Julia Child’s classic, but easier. Note: I double my mushrooms and carrots. Also, the horseradish chive bread ‘serve with’ suggestion was not my jam, so I’d kick it old school with a hot, fresh, crusty baguette.

2. Won’t have time to whip anything up after work, hit the easy button and do takeout. You could grab a couple of Kashi pizzas (or fresh ones from Whole Foods), a little fresh basil, a few bottles of red, and you’re golden. [If you wanna put in a smidge more effort, make a small green salad too.]


Other Chi-town takeout faves? Homemade Pizza CoBig Bowl via Grub Hub for Asian/Thai/Chinese… Wakamono for Sushi… Frasca for Italian.


3. Have 30 minutes to cook, do a Taco Bar.


Everybody’s taco preferences are different, but my must-haves are:

  • Both hard shells AND corn (not flour) tortillas
  • Ground Turkey or Beef + Taco Seasoning Packet
  • Habanero Hot Pepper Cheese from COSTCO (this stuff makes life worthwhile)
  • Avocado
  • Gobs of Cilantro
  • Black beans
  • Limes
  • Donkey tortilla chips
  • Salsa, preferably this kind
  • A dollop of Daisy
  • Coronas

Happy Monday Mini-Raging!

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