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Oscar Fashion

BOOM!  That settles it.  I’m switching teams.

Just kidding, but SERIOUSLY: the side part… that LIP… the bejewled tassel… the deep V – this is a SHOW STOPPER. And I love that it’s a showstopper without her boobs hitting her in the chin or without her doing anything scandalous.  She’s just exquisite… in a Scarface throwback kind of way.  Best Dressed 1 of 3.  The Wolf is a MO-ron.

Margot

Her post-baby bod is sculpted perfection, but between the hair and the X-Men costume, I’m frightened.

scarlett-johansson

KILLED IT.  Gone Girl done got it RIGHT.  I love that this has a vintage bombshell feel to it.  There was a second when I thought I was looking at Vivien Leigh ca 1940 something – probably when they panned in on her waist that’s the size of my wrist. Hair, makeup and strappy heels are also perfection.  Best Dressed 2 of 3.

rosamund-pike

This was beautiful, and like something that belongs in a museum.  I expect nothing less from her.

Lupita

Very OP.  Not my favorite but I loved it – probably because I love her for always doing something different and being so comfortable in her own skin.

Kerry

I meeeeean.  It’s really pretty.  She looks gorgeous.  I have nothing bad to say about this, other than the fact that it didn’t blow up my shorts.  I was excited to see her, but when I did I just went:  “Eh.  Alrighty.”

Julianna

That looks like fun.

jennifer-aniston-emma-stone

Honestly, this is the best she’s looked in quite some time.  The detail of that dress was beautiful.  And she looks so at ease – like she went to the beach this morning, ran some errands, then got dressed for the Oscars.  I love that.

Jen

A million yards of bejeweled pantyhose.  Slash, I love it.

J Lo

This I cannot handle.  That elephantitus of the corsage reminds me of those paper flowers that you order on Etsy and then have to pull apart and hang from the ceiling for kiddies’ birthday parties.  The earrings are too much.  Worst dressed.  And I think I’m tainted because I’ve heard her say one too many snobby, clueless things in the media the past few years.  Color’s pretty though.  And she obviously busts her hump in the gym, so I gotta give her props for that.

Gwyneth

I adore her, and that color is exquisite, and the back of it is great, and her confidence is ALWAYS her best accessory…  but I dunno.  This aged her for me.  In a reptilian octogenarian sort of way.  Maybe if her hair had been pulled up and in a really mod updo that offset the dowdiness of the dress, it would’ve helped?

Emme

Love her, love the dress, love the ponytail more than anything.  Also love that she borrowed one of the sparkly ropes she got tied up with in 50 Shades and wove it into her attire.

Dakota

Prettiest dress for a black tie wedding in Palm Beach.  Or for the Prom.  Or to host the Miss America pageant.

Anna

PERFECTION.  Best dressed 3 of 3.  The hair/center part, the dewy complexion, the earrings… and the DRESS!  It looks so fresh & pretty, and so perfectly tailored.

Reese2

87th Annual Academy Awards - Arrivals

I mean.  I can’t even.

reese-witherspoon

Why so glum, dragon lady?

anna-wintour-bee-shaffer

I was so sad I didn’t get to see my girl Kate on the carpet!  But this is what she sported to an Oscar party.  Which, of course, is amazing.

kate-hudson

Huh.  Kind of an unlikely pair.  I kept wondering what Meryl was thinking.  Or how J Lo manages to look 22 when she’s 45.  That woman is a wonder.

meryl-streep-jennifer-lopez

Whose hair looks prettier?

keith-urban-nicole-kidman

Haaaaa – I love him and I loved his bit with Anna & Neil.  He looks so tired though! Take a nap there little fella!  Also, I’m pretty sure his tux pants were from Baby Gap.

anna-kendrick-jack-black

Maybe it’s because he’s hilarious – and so endearing in roles he played in movies like Dan in Real Life and Crazy Stupid Love – but I think Steve Carrell is adorable.  And I don’t think he’s ever looked better.

nancy-carell-steve-carell

Watching Ethan Hawke in Boyhood made me like him again… and almost made me forget for a sec that his marriage to Uma ended when he got busted porking the Nanny.  Wait – or was that Jude Law?  Ahh I can’t keep all the cheaters straight.

ethan-hawke-ryan-hawke

I could’ve lived with Gwyneth’s choice if it would’ve been this number.

karolina-kurkova

I thought she looked beautiful, and that color on her was perfection.

octavia-spencer

Sweet Jesus, where do I start??  What’s up with the white patent space boots, the lumberjack beard (I love some scruff, but seriously, that’s like a 70’s bush glued onto his face), and the baby blue suit I’m pretty sure he scooped up at a shop in Harlem with bars on the windows.  Also, yo Ma – could you pass Jared some of my No More Tangles for his hair?  And maybe some Summer’s Eve for his face.  #worstdressedman

jared-leto

Age appropriate and really gorgeous… but what was it about this that I couldn’t swallow??  Maybe that she seemed so rigid to me?  Like something was forced, and like everything was coiffed and gelled perfectly into place.  And – honestly… like she had to drop the Cosby kids off at the pool.

faith-hill-tim-mcgraw

My homegirl.  Love her.  And how ’bout when Patricia Arquette started rapping about equal pay and Meryl stood up and starting throwing her arms around like she was at an Eminem concert??  They can both go on with they bad selves.

meryl-streep

Love the dress, hate the hair.

zoe-saldana

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  I kind of expect more from her.

jessica-chastain

I don’t even know what to say about this, other than the fact that that iridescent inside-of-a-pretty-seashell color was my favorite color in 4th grade.

nicole-kidman

Oh sugar pie…  Felicity Jones is SO incredibly stunning and sweet that she literally could’ve stolen the carpet all awards season… and instead the miles and miles of taffeta drapes she wore as dresses swallowed her whole.

felicity-jones

Is her skin made of velvet?  I mean seriously.  I also dig the deep burgundy lip.

chrissy-teigen

Perfect for the VMA’s.

naomi-watts

naomi-watts 2

Perfect for HER.  Sans the bed head / gym class bun.

patricia-arquette

Yawn.

sienna-miller

The Fashion Police people knocked this, and I think it’s bad a$$.

Cate

Didn’t love the dress, but her earrings were my favorite accessory of the night… next to Margot’s bejeweled tassel.

US-OSCARS-ARRIVALS

PS, last night I won the Oscar for most Girl Scout cookies eaten in one sitting.  BANG.

Steph Oscars

The only thing all night that made me tear up:

JK Simmons Quote

What did you guys think??  Faves?  Best & Worst?  Spill it.

xoxo,

Steph's Scanned Signature

 





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