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Bachelor Week 8: Swass in Bali

Meh…  I thought last night’s episode was kind of uneventful – was it just me?  Maybe it’s because the 3 girls that are left are sweet and normal, so I’m runnin’ low on crazies to rap about.  In any case, here’s what I got.  Ya’ll weigh in and lemme know what I missed.

1.  LAWD – the SWASS!  I mean, look at these two.  They’re melting.  It must’ve been 185 degrees in Bali.

Swass in Bali | Covet Living

Thank GOD I didn’t go on this season, because this is what my hair would’ve looked like.

buckwheat 357

Slash how is Becca’s staying so artfully disheveled?

becca

2.  I really like Kaitlyn, and I REALLY loved her dress, and this was the best shot I could get of it.  The worst thing I have to say about her is that I wish she would take out her nose ring.  Otherwise I find her adorable and fun and endearing.

Kaitlyn's Dress | Covet Living

3.  This is a bit much.

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4.  Am I the only one who thinks it’s weird when anyone over the age of 4 does this? …or, try watching your boyfriend’s mom do it.

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Case in point: me at 4.

daddy | via covet living

5.  Apparently Whitney’s got a tickle in her shorts this week… she was really gettin’ after it.

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6.  Best she’s looked all season.  Gorgeous sans makeup, and sans Aqua Net.

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7.  I got superlatives all day long for this girl…  BEST ANSWER IN BACHELOR HISTORY:  “I firmly believe that life takes you places, and it’s not where you are, it’s who you’re with.” Amen sistah.  Life’s too short to hem and haw and not take a leap for someone you love.  #priorities #whitneyforpresident

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8.  Done and done.  Look at ’em lookin’ at each other.

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chris

9.  The most interesting thing to me about Becca + Chris’ date was Becca’s pretty hair.  I thought she looked stunning this week.  Bali becomes her.

stunner

Otherwise I was bored to damn TEARS.  She’s sweet, he’s sweet, we get it, but LAWD. It’s like two slices of Melba toast sandwiched together with air in the middle.  I think he definitely needs someone spontaneous & spunky like Kaitlyn to draw him out a little… or self-assured and fun like Whitney.  Am I allowed to call Becca a dud?

…oosie.  Guess I just did.  Also, have you noticed that she clenches her teeth and barely moves her lips when she talks?  It’s a wonder that girl can enunciate at all.

becca

10.  20-second timeout: Can we talk about my boy Chris Harrison?  Can they please do a tweener season where he’s the Bachelor?  He’s flipping hilarious.  And getting more good looking with age.

chris harrison

11.  Prince Ahh-LEEEE, fabulous he, ali-ah-BAHHH-BWAAAAAAAHHHHH.  I’m sure that’s culturally incorrect and I just offended eastern cultures everywhere, but that’s the song I sing when I see pretty outfits like this.

prince ali

And it’s the song I sang all day while I was draped in saris and bindies at Vani’s Indian wedding.

Vani's Wedding

What a good sport she is.

me and vani

12.  PS I liked Whitney’s hair better right after she got out of the water.

bouffant

Anybody got a guess what her favorite movie is?  …what up, Truvy!

Trudy

13.  FINALLY – an outfit that accentuates Chris’ power gut… something I’ve been perplexed about all season.  It’s like a little silo away from home in his buddha.  Is he stowing corn from the farm in there?  Soybeans?  Did one of those chicks who threw herself at him knock him up?  Is it just a ball of muscle mixed with beer?  I don’t get it.  Kudos to my girl Hannah Cheese & her gal pal for coining the term (Go Owls!)

power gut

14.  I don’t know what the whole pulling-Becca-aside-shenanigan was, or why he kept her over Kaitlyn, but diff’rent strokes.  The only good thing I have to say about Kaitlyn leaving is that I’m crossing my fingers she’s the next Bachelorette… cuz if ABC / Next Entertainment even THINKS about putting Britt on, I’m going to choke to death on my own vomit and boycott the show.  In other news… I was so confused how Kaitlyn managed to cry dry tears until she got into the limo.  And if Chris told her one more time how “excruciating” the decision to let her go was, I was going to throw a Thesaurus at the TV.

kaitlyn exit

15.  No joke.  This is how my man Gus watches the show.  Move it or lose it, camper! The best line of the night came from a buddy who popped over to watch: “Gus, you’re never going to be president if you keep eating paper towels like that.”  HDHSKAHDKHjhdsjkahdjkahjdha.  #gusgusforpresident

gus for president

What did I miss?  And is Becca rounding 3rd and gonna edge Whitney out in a close overtime thriller at the end?  I thought Whit was a lock but maybe I missed some mystical, cosmic, Melba Toast 4-Eva thing between Chris & Becca.

In other news, I cannot WAIT to be reunited with my favorite Frenemies next week, including but not limited to Tarantulashes, Lucifer in LL Bean and Inflatable Lady Bits. And again… I can rap in good fun about these floozies, because obviously, I’m perfect:

steph in the morning

xoxo!

Steph's Scanned Signature

DIY Dining Chair Re-Do

DIY Dining Chair Before and After | Covet Living

Kar Bear and I hit the Rose Bowl Flea Market one steamy, swassy Sunday in November on the hunt for some vintage dining chairs to revamp for her sweet little Santa Monica breakfast nook.  We came home with these!

Rose Bowl Flea Market | Covet Living

These started out being priced with an enormous, matchy-matchy dining table that we did not need – I think it was $600 for the entire set.  We were prepared to pay for the whole set ($150 per chair), and just leave the table, but then we stepped up to the plate for a little haggling:  I told Mr. Dealer-man in the kindest and most charming way possible that this wasn’t Rooms-to-Go, and that people didn’t always want to buy matching sets anymore…  they wanted to cherry pick and make things their own.  Find the most elegant chairs covers for any occasion on this website.

Plus it was right before Thanksgiving, so we knew he’d have no trouble selling the table since people are always scrambling for them right around that time. We finally got him to split up the set and give us the chairs for $300 or $400 bucks (which, when you consider that flimsy plastic dining chairs from big box stores can run $100 each, that was a BIG score).  We loaded up these tragic-but-had-great-bones guys into my hooptie and headed back to the homestead.   Check ’em out, in all their butterscotch glory.  (“Buzz yer GIRL-friend…  WUF!“)

Dining Chairs, Before | Covet Living

We discussed painting them, but decided to leave the finish as is…  it’s in great shape.  That Werther’s Original fabric, on the other hand, had to go.  We knew we wanted to recover them in something colorful and fun, and while our styles are much different, the one thing we do agree on is the entire beachy, casual, cheerful vibe of the California Dreamin’ Pinterest board.  In the end, we decided that a vintage Bolivian blanket would be a perfect upholstery fabric.  Comme ça:

Bolivian Blankets, Solo | Covet Living

There happens to be a sweet joint in San Diego – er, on Cedros in the design district – called Solo… the same joint I purchased my vintage kantha that I made Euro shams for my bed out of…  Solo is also across from the Mothership, aka Bixby & Ball… never a bad street to ping-pong around if you’re down there.  So, I strolled into Solo post-dog beach one day to scout rugs/fabrics for Karrie’s chairs…  Gus helped.  That’s Ruby, the sweet lady who handpicks all the blankets & kanthas they carry in the shop.

Gus

Then we had to Face Time Karrie, so she could weigh-in on which rug she wanted. This is how she answered the phone… from the shower.  Sweet Jesus.

Face time shower time decisions

We figured this one was a keeper.

That one! | Covet Living #bolivianblanket

Yep.  Not ugly.

Bolivian Blanket | Covet Living

Fast forward 2 months, and I rolled up to Santa Monica this past weekend with my tool kit and that rug/blanket in hand.  Ready to take on these suckers.

Before Chairs | Covet Living

Here’s why just about anyone can do this DIY… because with these types of chairs, fabric is just wrapped around and stapled or nailed into the back of the seat cushions, which then screw into the chair frames.  So you just need a Phillips head screwdriver to remove them…  once they’re off, it’s just a matter of stripping that old nasty a$$ Werther’s Original bouclé (probably embedded with some kid’s boogers and old peoples’ toenail clippings) then recovering and stapling the new fabric in place, and screwing the seat cushions back to the frame to secure them.  BANG. (Keep this in mind next time you’re at an Estate Sale, or Goodwill, or a Consignment Shop.  Flip ’em over and see how they’re made, so you know if they’ll be easy to recover or not.)

Steph's DIY Dining Chairs | Covet Living

Before Chairs | Covet Living

So first…  while my favorite helper Karrie went shopping and my other favorite helper Teem cozily read a book with Dateline on in the background, I laid the seat cushions out on the blanket/rug/thing to make sure they’d fit.  Yep – plenty of room.

DIY Dining Chair Redo | Covet Living

Then I took a pair of scissors to that glorious blanket… and this is honestly how Gus looked at me.  I know…  it hurt me to cut it up, too.

Bolivian Blanket | Covet Living

Gussie | Covet Living

And now.  We wrap, we pull taut, and we STAPLE in place with a staple gun.  This part looks easy but it’s a smidge tricky…. cuz that “fabric” is actually a thin rug, so oragami-folding and wrestling the corners so they’ll lay down flattish – flat enough that you can still screw the seat cushion back into the chair frame – is a feat.

Steph's DIY Dining Chair Redo | Covet Living

And if you can’t get the corners to lay flat enough, then the seat cushion is going to sit up too tall on the frame and you won’t be able to screw it in without a go-go-gadget, daddy long leg screw.

wrap the bolivian | covet living

Bang bang bang!!  My work here is done complete.

diy redone dining chairs | covet living

Karrie’s little nook is still in progress – we still have to: refinish the little pedestal table in that room, which is currently the color of Tang… give the walls a fresh coat of paint… and pick out a fabric for the valances.  We’re leaning towards something in this vain – it’s another vintage textile, but we need something like this with a smaller, neutral print, because the chairs are so loud that they need to be the superstars in that space.  This bad boy is a great supporting cast – it complements the chairs but doesn’t compete with them.

Textile | Covet Living

We also recently hung THIS Jamie Young Lotus pendant that Karrie’s been coveting since this 2012 Nursery post, which looks amazing:

Glorious Nursery | Covet Living

We’ll let you know how it turns out!  Also, if someone could bring Karrie a Mai Tai and maybe give her a foot rub while she supervises me refinishing the table in a few weeks, that’d be great.  (Just kidding y’old skank!  Love you.)

PS: Etsy & eBay are great sources for vintage textiles like these.  If you like that same global/ethnic feel, try using search terms like: vintage hmong, batik, bolivian, kantha, suzani.  A few of my favorite Etsy shops are here and here.

xoxo,

Steph's Scanned Signature