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Oscar Fashion Round-Up « Covet Living
House Beautiful

Oscar Fashion Round-Up

Is it just us or did last night’s red carpet + show seem to go by faster than most? Usually I’m fast forwarding thru the middle of the show with one hand, while spooning the Breyer’s into my mouth with the other, but last night I stayed glued to the TV. Maybe cause I kept waiting for sh*t to go down, dunno. Anywho, here’s what WE thought of a handful of the red carpet looks. Let us know what you think:

LIKE A CONFECTION!

K: You know when you wake up in the morning and lie in bed scrolling thru Insta with one eye shut? That’s what I had to do when I first saw this dress. I’m still confused. What are those things? Diamond-encrusted razor blades? Regardless, she’s real pretty and gets to boink Michael Fassbender sothisisallawash mmmmkay.

S: Wait she’s diddling Michael Fassbender???  Sorry – focusing: she’s lovely, and all that dress does for me is makes me think of fluffy whipped buttercream in the bowl.  I can literally hear the Kitchen Aid beaters whipping it to perfection.

WE’RE NOT IN IRELAND ANYMORE. 

K: No, we’re on the streets of NYC circa 1987, playing a lady of the street in a scene from {insert 80s movie}, in which a pack of ’em saunter to the main character’s car, look inside, and while snapping their gum say, “What’ll it be, darlin’?” while their pimp suspiciously looks at them from the street corner. I meannnnn… she looks great. Love how the color compliments her eyes.

S: She is hands-down my favorite of the night.  I love the beachy hair with that swanky dress… (why does it make me think of Scarface?)  I love that she wore earrings that don’t match.  Superb side boob.  But most of all I loved how comfortable girlfriend was in her own skin – owning it but cracking jokes and having a great time and looking like a boss… it was like Kate Hudson meets Cate Blanchett behavior.

Saiorse Ronan

THANK HEAVENS SHE’S SWITCHING TO ACTING.

S: That performance was super powerful because of the subject matter and all the survivors on stage.  But her voice sounded like what grating my knuckles across a cheese grater feels like.  Also, I’d like to borrow her boyfriend.  Like, forever.  Last, I mean.  I am legit DYING:

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CAN A SISTER CRACK A SMILE JUST ONCE? 

K: Get this girl some prune juice, cause she’s either constipated or so tightly wound you could stick a lump of coal up her patooka and pull out the purdiest diamond ever. Like, the Hope Diamond.

S: BFdhjksfjsahhaha.  The Hope Diamond.  Otherwise listen, I actually love this dress.  I think it’s exquisite.  But the hair… gurl.  Somebody tap her on the shoulder and tell her The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo came out like, 10 years ago.  It’s over.

IT WAS SO SWEET OF AUDREY HEPBURN TO LEND EDDIE REDMAYNE HER SIZE 0 CIGARETTE PANTS FOR THE OSCARS!

eddie

PRETTY FROM THE NECK UP.

K: But the dress was ill fitting, the top was just confusing, and the color reminded me of my 10th grade holiday dance dress (which I attended with Chad Ashcraft, to whom Steph coincidentally sent a Valentine’s Day Candygram two months later, but I digress).

S: I actually missed her on the carpet.  But yeah – stunning from the neck up but she can do mo betta.

Reese Witherspoon

BEST MILF AWARD.

K: Usually we wanna force feed her six #7s from T-Bell, a Pizza Hut stuffed garlic knots pizza and a Mrs. Fields cookie cake, but tonight we’re givin’ it to her: Mrs. Consuelos looked s-m-o-k-i-n-g hot.

S: Hair is on fleek.  PS I just learned what “on fleek” meant last week.

88th Annual Academy Awards - Arrivals

WE’RE CONFUSED. 

K: When did Claire’s Boutique chokers make their way to the Oscar’s red carpet? Olivia Wilde’s usually worthy of a girl crush in our eyes, but that choker completely ruined the elegance of her look in my opinion.

S: I mean, girlfriend still looks like sex on a stick.  And this actually looks like something I would pick out, so I appreciate the risk, but I feel like something about it didn’t work – maybe the cut.  That said, my favorite thing about her is that I know she doesn’t give a flying &#%@.

Olivia Wilde

EXQUISITE.

K: Absolutely gorgeous. And *no one* could pull off this showstopper like her, because she is downright regal.

S: Her bod looks amazing.  That said… when I looked at her dress, I got a warm fuzzy nostalgic feeling where I flashed back to reaching for the biggest stick of aqua rock candy in one of those glass jars at Cracker Barrel.

Cate Blanchett

IS SHE WASTED?

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TERMINATOR T-1000 CALLED; HE WANTS HIS SPLOOGE BACK.

K: Plus, this get-up screams SAG Awards or People’s Choice… not tha Oscah’s. Right?

S: You know, I gotta give my girl Kate MAJOR props for that hair.  It’s always up-did and shellac’d perfectly into place, and now it’s kinda like, stunning and a little beachy but WHATEVUH.  Which is how I feel like she is in general – effortlessly gorgeous.  The dress might be made of T2 molten lava + taffeta, but I totally appreciate that it’s not another navy blue, off-the-shoulder number.

Kate Winslet

THE FEMALE BENJAMIN BUTTON.

K: Does this woman age? Also, true story: When I worked at the talent agency which rep’d Charlize a few years ago, she was often passed over for roles – for being too beautiful. Steph: This must be why we’re never invited to the Bloggers Conferences!

S: re Charlize, I can’t even.  Good GAWWD.  re being the redheaded stepchildren of the blogosphere – BDHDHSAHHAHA.

Charlize Theron

SHE CAN DO NO WRONG IN OUR EYES.

K: Waaaaaayallllll, except not lie in the back of her limo on the way to the Awards with a Joy Mangano steamer and iron out that little patch of wrinkles near her goody bits. But it’s all good girl! We love ya. And hope you saw Noah backstage and screamed and ran up to him and wrapped your legs around him.

S: Did you see the back of this?  To die for.  I bet if Noah had seen her backstage, he would’ve put down his bacon + pancaketh and taken it to the sheets for Round 6.  She JUST looks STUNNING.  That color is amazing.

Rachel McAdams

MEH. SOMETHING’S OFF HERE.

K: I’m not sure if we’re just not used to her wearing anything other than green, but the earrings could have been daintier and her teeth about six shades less brown OH MY GOD WE WILL LITERALLY MEET YOU IN FIVE AT THE DOORSTEPS OF HELL.

S: JFKLDJKLfjdksjfahfahhahahahahhahaha.  Yep see you there pal.  Love her tho.

Julianne Moore

GLAM OSCAR STATUETTE-COME-TO-LIFE DRESS. LAZY HAIR.

K: This one’s a pet peeve of mine. I’m sure she spent hours/days/weeks sloughing, plucking, dying, tanning, and doing everything to look ready for the big day. So why stop at the hair? Have your stylist put some pretty beach waves in it or something.

S: I thought everything was perfection.

Margot Robbie

WHAT GETTING THE ELEPHANT-SIZED ROCK OFF YOUR CHEST LOOKS LIKE.

K: Y’all read the hot-off-the-press Vanity Fair interview with her right? The one in which, when asked about Ben Affleck’s ginormous back tat of a phoenix rising from the ashes, replied with, “Bless his heart.”? She looks great. Perfectly coiffed and though it’s usually not our fave color on the red carpet, this black dress is gorgeously cut, and super flattering. G’on girl.

S: Dear Ben Affleck – how’s that Nanny working out for ya?  …uh, yeah.  And bravo to our girl for keeping it so classy, no matter what insane amount of upheaval just went on in your personal life.

Jennifer Garner

BIGGEST, HOTTEST, MESSIEST MESS OF THE DECADE.

Heidi Klum

K&S: And when we saw the below Instagram posted last night, we about spit up our wine:

Heidi Klum via @betches

WHAT HAPPENED TO HER FACE? 

K: Oh, and the dress is perfection. No, but seriously, Google “Olivia Munn Before & After” and voila. (They call me the Plastic Surgery Whisperer)

S: I never paid much attention to her before so I didn’t see her before/after face sitch… I thought the color of the dress and the lipstick was P-E-R-F-E-C-T. And why didn’t I know she was dating Aaron Rodgers??

Olivia Munn

LOVE HER. 

K: Loved her in Sicario (SO badass), and she looks beautiful here. I just wish her dress – and I’m getting a smidge picky here – was a darker shade of pink. I think she’s a little washed out. But I still think she looks gorge.

S: Miranda Priestly would not be pleased with what’s happening south of her neck, but I adore this from the neck up.  And her.  And that clutch.

Emily Blunt

K: PRETTIEST DRESS FROM THE RUE MCCLANAHAN COLLECTION. 

Daisy Ridley

S: She actually reminds me of a little sprite… or, that face Reese Witherspoon makes in Cruel Intentions.  Member?

reese

SHE’S IN SICK SHAPE, AND ROCKS MANY A RED CARPET DRESS.

K: But you know what else she’s rocking here? A dress the color of a 90s slap bracelet, icy diamonds on her chest and a deep red stain. No bueno. Way too many looks… way too busy. 

S: Yeah.  What she said.  Love her tho.  PS have you seen her & Liev’s house in Arch Digest??  That kitchen is ammmaaaaaaazing.

Naomi Watts

 

What’d YOU guys think of the looks, and while we’re at it, the show?

xoxo,

karrie and steph signature

 

 

6 Responses to “Oscar Fashion Round-Up”


  • Rachel McAdams is perfection, and I also don’t understand Olivia Munn’s plastic surgery. She looks older, not younger. Why do these gorgeous women do this?!

  • Jennifer Garner said “bless his heart” about her ex Ben Affleck. And she was the prettiest one there. Living well, ladies. It is truly the best revenge. Great commentary and snark. Y’all did it again.

  • Forgot to add. . .I didn’t watch the Oscars on TV but saw pictures of Matt Damon and his wife on the red carpet. She was absolutely perfect in her red dress.

  • YES, warp speed red carpet this year. Alice Vikander-lovely yellow confection but thought it more appropo for Golden Globes, and her GG gown (geometric glimmer wonder) should’ve been her Oscar dress. Olivia Wilde-Just too much booby. I understand the runway version had a jeweled bib, which would have been very cool. Don’t think JJ Leigh was wasted; Saw her on Charlie Rose w/same expression, so it may be nip/tuck or fillers gone awry. Last but not least: Heidi, Heidi, listen to me. Are you competing in American Standard/Fox Trot division at the Harvest Moon Ball? You’re so stunning and you always choose my 7th grade Singer sewing project. Por qua?

  • sweet baby jesus i love you guys

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