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Golden Globes Recap 2019

Where to even begin?? How about right here… because my reaction looked JUST LIKE GLENN CLOSE’S FACE first looked when I was trying to register the news that Gaga didn’t win Best Actress. Utter disbelief. I thought we were having another Warren Beatty / La La Land / Moonlight moment. I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE IT.

I love Glenn and I do still need to see The Wife… and I thought it was very telling that on her way to the podium she only stopped to hug Lady Gaga – who you could tell even she thought was a lock for the award (she even told Natalie Morales that she didn’t prepare a speech b/c she knew Gaga was going to win). And Gaga’s gracious reaction and telling Glenn to “go get it!” made me love her even more.

And then… DAYUM. I give Glenn Close the Golden Globe for best acceptance speech. So moving and so spot-on that I’m posting the entire thing:

That said… after last night I’m curious if the Hollywood Foreign Press actually watched A Star Is Born. I also just saw this online which is hilarious and what I was thinking verbatim. Couldn’t have said it better sister!

Best Actress was for sure the biggest upset… and I knew the Best Actor race was gonna be a close overtime thriller b/w Bradley & Rami, though I still thought Bradley would edge it out. Rami Malek really was amazing though – his performance made that movie.

But the Roma guy beating out B-Coop in the Best Director category was when I started to snort and throw things and yell, because WHAT IS THIS CONSPIRACY. Then, when Bohemian Rhapsody won Best Picture – I just sat with my arms crossed and shook my head, like a 4-year old. Bohemian Rhapsody was really entertaining and I did like it (Karrie did not – she thought it was full of fluff, and I don’t totally disagree on the fluffy bit) – but like it as I may – it is just not even in the same stratosphere as A Star Is Born. I didn’t even want to see A.S.I.B. – I’ve never been a huge Gaga fan, and I didn’t take Bradley Cooper all that seriously – but I walked out of that theater with such mad respect for both of them. That movie jarred and gutted me, then stayed with me for weeks – and I think that’s just about everyone’s reaction who’s seen it. Nothing I’ve seen this year has even come close to how powerful that movie was. Even Chris said last night: “I can’t believe the only movie that’s ever made me feel (like that) came up empty.” I’m saying double or nothin’ at the Oscars. Bradley & Gaga are due some major props. I may personally picket outside the Academy’s window from now until the then.

Phew, moving on… I love to see all the boys embracing velvet.

Knockout! I love a lady in pink sequins – one of my favorites. Her skin also looked INSANE.

Carol Burnett was so, so good. I cried. Love her and used to watch her with my grandparents when I was little. What a class act.

Hands-down Best Dressed.

Hands-down her best accessory. That is one dapper man. And they are royalty.

Speaking of dapper… Rami Malek might be my Best Dressed Man. We all know from the 4-page monologue above that I was bummed to not see Bradley take Best Actor, but Rami really was amazing as Freddie Mercury. Lucy’s skin’s lookin real dewy and lovely too.

PS, OMG I would like to congratulate Bradley Cooper on his engagement to a tween model WHO BY THE WAY IS SO STUNNING SHE NEEDN’T EVEN WEAR ONE OUNCE OF JEWELRY and only a hint of makeup. Just kidding, she’s 33 but DAMN GIRL. Gorgeous as she is, he still might be prettier.

Did anyone notice that Jamie Lee Curtis & Richard Gere had THE EXACT SAME HAIR??? My girl Kendra who I was watching the show with pointed that out, and I’m not sure anyone has ever been so right about anything, ever.

Keri Russell was a VISION. She’s another Best Dressed for me. And her not taking home Best Actress in a TV Drama for the last season of the Americans – arguably her best ever on the series – was a shame, I thought. Felicity or bust.

BUT – at least the show won for best TV Drama – that was so well-deserved.

Jeff Bridges was great. I especially enjoyed the part when he went totally rogue and Chris Pine was chuckling in the background.

So chic. One of her best ever.

While we’re on that peacock-y jewel-toned note… I thought Gemma Chan looked INSANELY BEAUTIFUL.

And while we’re talking about peekaboo pants… I audibly gasped at Julia. She is JUST lovely. All of it. I’m glad to see her aging gracefully and that her face (up close) doesn’t have that glassy botox’d look – I don’t know that she’s ever looked better. Fun fact: we see the same esthetician in LA.

HOW PRECIOUS WERE SANDRA OH’S PARENTS???????

I love Timothée Chalamet. I loved Beautiful Boy, even though it was heart-wrenching to watch. I also can’t wait to watch him do his trapeze artist routine at the after party. #barnumandbaileys

Speaking of Beautiful Boy, I thought Steve Carell was so so good in the role as David Sheff, and even though I know these things are a tight squeeze, I thought he could’ve been in the running with a nomination.

Did anyone else notice that Miss Golden Globe (Isan Elba) was legit falling asleep on stage towards the end of the night?! I wish I had a pic of it. Somebody needs to spike that girl’s Shirley Temple with some Monster next time.

One of my favorite speeches. She is a hoot. And I didn’t realize until she thanked Melissa McCarthy for the sandwiches THAT THEY DON’T FEED THE CELEBS ANYTHING BUT BOOZE at the Globes.

All that booze and no grub is a recipe for someone like Christian Bale to say he drew inspiration from Satan to play Dick Cheney in Vice, which made me snort and cackle. That was probably one of the only non-PC things anyone said last night.

I love her, and she is intergalactic and svelte, but this def reminds me of the inside of the armadillo cake from Steel Magnolias.

I think she could’ve lost the cape, but my take away was the color combo of what’s happening underneath – the bright emerald + peach + chartreuse + lilac is something I would want to paint an abstract piece with.

The bejeweled bikini meets ballerina look was fun for her.

Kaley C was totally channeling Jennifer Aniston – did you guys notice that?  So cute and classic and comfortable in her skin and natural.  Her hair wasn’t anything fancy but I didn’t mind it.

I wish I could find a better shot, but her earrings might’ve been the most BOMB part of this whole thing.

Oof.

I think it was Brad Goreski who said before the show that he *hoped* she would do something edgy and not dress like her character, and I couldn’t have agreed more. She did still look lovely and that color is beautiful, but I thought she looked very much like Mrs. Maisel.

OMG THE BOW!  The BOW!  One of my favorites of the night. In other news – and this is nothing new – she has the CUTEST ACCENT EVER. I also now really want to see the Gianni Versace movie.

Charlize Theron looks beautiful and put-together and also like the most statuesque perfume bottle I’ve ever seen.

This is 52. The only thing I would’ve left behind is the Rapunzel ponytail extension, which Kristin Cavallari wore as well and which I completely do not get.

I actually really liked this. You know I can’t say no to ruffles & doilies.

Also always love a deep V and LOVE me some velvet, but I could’ve used about 1/2″ more of fabric on either side, for areola’s sake.

I love Julianne Moore. So much. I think she is a supreme talent and a beauty no matter what she does. And as a fellow coffee & red wine drinker, I can say that I’d be more than happy to split a box of Crest Whitestrips with her. Spesh if either of us is going to wear white that bright. That actually hurt me to type out loud, but it does boggle my mind.

I loved this!  And I also thought Constance Wu was naked at first glance. PS WHERE WAS HENRY GOLDING? AKA the most handsome man on the planet.

Crouching lizard hidden pleather. She’s a boss but I didn’t get this at all.

Another lady I have mad respect for is Claire Foy, and this dress was so beautiful but I can’t figure out why someone didn’t tailor the bust of it.

For a second I thought Amber Heard was actually Sharon Stone, hot-mess-drunk at an awards show in the 90’s. She’s a beautiful girl but this was a miss for me.

I loved it. It totally reminded me of a bridesmaid’s dress the exact same color that I wore in 2000 in my friend Erica’s wedding, but I thought it was rad.

Emma Stone is a champ and is HILARIOUS in The Favourite, but I couldn’t figure out why she came dressed as Julie Andrews. It’s just a bit too octogenarian for her.

Thandie Newton’s hair = my spirit animal. Her smoky eye is gorge. Stunnah.

Love Sandra and Andy individually, but eh. The jokes fell a little flat for me. It made me miss people like Ellen and Tina Fey + Amy Poehler hosting.

Last but not least… I can sit over here and make observations about some of the most talented & beautiful people on the planet, because this is what I look like when I wake up in the morning. With Chewbacca’s hair and the face of a drunk toddler.

All I got, Campers! What did you think?

xoxo,

 

 

 

 

 

Golden Globes 2017: the Good, the Bad & the Super Bad A$$

{ LIKE A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERCUP }

Everyone (including us), grab a sticky note and a no. 2 pencil and take notes from Reese on how to get classier with age. We think this look is an homage to her stunning yellow Globes dress from 10 years ago, post-split from Ryan Phillipe. As Reese wrote on Insta it’s classic Hollywood, all the way. Absolutely stunning. DYING over this.  Best Dressed 1 of 3.

reese

{ INTRODUCING MISS GOLDEN GLOBES ca. 1890 }

We don’t care what she wears; she’ll always conjure Little Bo Peep to us. Slash, we kinda feel like she should be sitting on a stool at the end of the bar in a saloon.  In 1890. But OMG, her skin is F-L-A-W-L-E-S-S.

michelle-williams

{ COMO SAY WHAT? }

We get that this is edgy and her bod is insane, but the tweed skirt looks like it weighs 80 pounds, and we don’t get the with the weird butterfly / flower appliqué.

jessica-biel

Slash, look at that mug. Flawless.

j-biel

{ PASS THE SCISSORS }

Too many layers of too much thin gold lacy biz. This is kind of a mess, and usually she nails it. Remove the lacy peplum at the waist / pare it down some and it might’ve worked.

chrissy-teigen

{ MIND-BOGGLINGLY BEAUTIFUL }

K: Like, when she walked on stage to read the nominees, we had a collective gasp in Casa Covet Living. Really appreciating her J Lo-inspired get up as well.

S: She looks gorgeous and the bold burgundy lip is amazing, and obviously this fits like a glove but I ALMOST wanna let it out just a smidge in like, 2 places, because it’s so tight it makes me claustrophobic. Because I’m not actually sure how she’s breathing.

priyanka-chopra

{ #boobiesfordays }

boobs-for-days

{ STUNNING }

I mean, DAYUM girl. Fits like a glove, and the pop of jade knocks this already-homerun outta the park, across town, over the river & through the woods. She kills it every time. Best Dressed 2 of 3.

blake-lively

{ CLASSY AF }

Natalie Portman never fails to be simply regal, and she pulls off this canary yellow, midcentury throwback flawlessly in our opinion… and channels her inner Jackie O. Also, we know her pregnant self probably had aching feet and a craving for In-N-Out on the way home.

natalie-portman

{ LADIES & GENTS, SHE’S ALL GROWNZ UP }

Simply stunning. And elegant. And sweet like candy.

mandy-moore

{ WHO CARES WHAT SHE’S WEARING LOOK AT HER FACE }

Holy Smokes Pope. The dress we’re still scratching our heads over, but we do love that she always takes a fashion risk and always owns it. And her face/hair/makeup is always so stunning we feel like it *kind* of doesn’t really even matter what she wears. The girl wore a potato sack, a way undone-head of hair and zero makeup last year on Scandal AND SHE STILL KILLED IT.

kerry

{ AW MAAAAN… }

We love her SO much. And love her work (have you seen Arrival yet?) and think she’s a super classy broad, but her red carpet looks are always kind of a yawn. But for realz – what’s with this cut? We’ll give her props from deviating from her normal navy one shoulder gown, but this is boutah slap her in the chin.

amy-adams

{ KILLIN IT. }

File this under Best Dressed, Audible Gasp, Smoke Show and After-Popping-Out-Two-Kids-Body-Goals... slash you boutah have a 3rd cuz we guarantee Dax Shepard just went from 6 to midnight when he saw you in this. Hit it outta the &%## park, GF. Best dressed 3 of 3.

kristen-bell

Signed, this is the face of a girl who’s owning it.  Bravo.

own-it

{ FAIRY PRINCESS }

Snow White was let out of the forest, complete with an entire bolt of lacy lavender fabric. Finally someone with paler skin than Karrie in the winter. Slash, she looks gorgeous.

lily-collins

{ WE GET IT. YOU’RE HOT. WHAT ELSE? }

No offense but why is she at the Globes? And, does she ever smile?

emily-ratajkowski

{ JACKRABBIT THROWBACK }

We had flashbacks to her wedding hairdo at Charlotte & Harry’s wedding – the day after she got jackrabbited by that groomsman and couldn’t move her neck. And the dress reminds us of something that would’ve been in a Carrie Bradshaw nightmare when she was breaking out in hives over marrying Aiden. When we saw she was nominated we were SO EXCITED and so anxiously awaiting her red carpet comeback. Sad face.

SJP Golden Globes 2017

{ LOVELY }

Love this dress. It’s everything Hollywood glamour should be, with a hint of 50s Vegas/Monroe sprinkled in. Her hair and makeup are also on point.

gina-rodriguez

{ OH SUGAR NO }

Such a beautiful girl, and somehow this manages to make her look frumpy. The dress is a beautiful color, but it looks like the lace / bows are drawn onto it – kinda like those knee-length t-shirts tourists wore in Florida in the 90’s that have ladies in skimpy bikinis on them.

felicity-jones

{ FRESH FACED & FRESH OUTTA CHEERLEADING PRACTICE }

She looks like she went into a Mystic Tan booth set on high, didn’t shower after the recommended 8 hours, then slipped on her Golden Globes dress and put her hair in a high pony and was out. She is, however, so beautiful and is aging Benjamin Button style.

sienna-miller

{ VAMPY }

Brie Larson does look beautiful and so old Hollywood – ‘spesh the hair.

brie-larson

{ AN HOMAGE TO LABYRINTH }

Look, it was one of our favorite movies too. But this is kind of a hot mess, and the only thing she’s missing is a baby Toby prop and the Goblin King on her arm. Plus, we feel like that undone hair + the dress have looked kind of the same for her at e-v-e-r-y awards show for the past 10 years. We’re crossing our fingers for a comeback come the Oscars.

nicole-kidman

{ BEYONCÉ… IS THAT YOU? }

We feel like Queen B has already done this look a few times. Like, 12. But, we appreciate the departure from her staple mermaid silhouette. And she was a trip on the mic presenting.

sofia-vergara

{ A FAVE AT FIRST GLANCE… }

This boho number is so her. Love the wavy hair, etc… but when we looked twice she looked kind of undone – a little wasted (hey – we know that’s the gig at the Globes), and we also wanted to take a Q-tip dipped in Neutrogena eye makeup remover and just clean up the black smudges under her eyes. Cuz the clock in real life said 7pm but her mascara said 4am.

drew-barrymore

{ H. A. W. T. }

naomie-harris

{ MOMMY MOMMY MY PONYTAIL’S TOO TIGHT!! }

Channeling Nicole Kidman with that dress color. But in general, this is all so rigid and pulled too tight all over. PS, OMG Steph totally glued those SAME flowers from JoAnn fabrics to a lampshade in college. Also, we’re about 0.002 centimeters from a nip slip.

jessica-chastain

{ “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens” }

She got a lotta flack for this look, but we both love it. So prim and pretty and Julie Andrews.

kristen-wiig

{ SAME DRESS, DIFFERENT YEAR }

We love her, love her, love her. And she’s aging REAL good. But she LITERALLY wears the same black & white off-the-shoulder number to every. single. awards. show. Every time.

julia-louis-dreyfus

{ WE THINK WE LOVE IT }

We feel like she’s missed a lot lately / usually wears something that makes you go, “wait, but you’re Project Runway!  Cmon – represent!” …and the jury’s kinda out on the length of this, but something about this feels so fresh and fun and we kinda love it. Plus, she’s one that’s so gorgeous we kinda don’t care what she wears.

heidi-klum

{ PASS THE CURDS & WHEY }

Pepto Bismol chic. The color IS stunning and a departure from what everyone else on the carpet wore, which was refreshing, but girlfriend is OD-ing on frills and bows. This one needs an edit. It’s all way way too much, especially for someone as dainty and usually classy as Zoe.

zoe-saldana

{ HOTTEST PREGNANT CHICK EVER }

Wonder Woman does red carpet pregnancy right! We think she looks gorgeous / smoking’ / the opposite of Natalie Portman’s stateliness.

gal-gadot

{ YEEK }

Courtesy of the David’s Bridal Death Becomes Her collection. Winona, why so scared? You hidin’ a couple tops and a handbag under that dress? Chin up and shoulders back babe! Slash, ever since that hang nail scene in Black Swan, she terrifies us to no end.

winona-ryder

{ WE FEEL BAD FOR HER LEFT BOOB }

How her stylist thought a dress the color of the groom’s armadillo cake in Steel Magnolias was a good idea is beyond us.

anna-kendrick

{ FELICITY IN THE HOUSE! }

We actually really like the cut of this, and we’d be kinda down with the print if only she had a semblance of a tan. It’s all just a wee bit blasé, the color..

keri-russell

{ ATTENTION AISLE 5 SHOPPERS: REDI WHIP NOW AVAILABLE IN CARNATION PINK }

Oh – you didn’t hear Sprinkles Cupcakes have their own line of evening gowns now? Next up will be Concannons Bakery’s own line of active wear (Muncie reference what?!)

carrie-underwood

{ ALL HAIL MAMA GOLDIE! }

Besides Helen Mirren, is there any other 71-year-old who can rock an off-the-shoulder look like Goldie? Nope. I think I (Steph) squealed with delight when she came on screen. Love the updo too.

goldie-hawn

This makes us so happy we can’t even take it. OMG let’s blow off work and watch Overboard right now.

Kurt and Goldie

{ WE’RE CROSS-EYED }

This is like one of those images you look at and stare at cross-eyed to see if an image of a dragon will eventually appear.

riley-keough

{ LOVE A GOOD FLOWER CHILD }

Love this Stella McCartney number cuz it’s so her, and so pretty, and so much different than everything else on the carpet last night… albeit borderline casual.

busy-philipps

{ TING! }

Well look at this spritely young thang. Now don’t you get all hopped up at the post-Awards parties and start Drew Barrymore’ing it up at a young age. Signed, Wise Old Adult Just Looking Out For Your Best Interests.

millie-bobby-brown

{ BAM! }

We just wanted to add her on here cause she shares the same facialist as both of us. WHAT UP BRANDI BROWN?! And look at dem guns.

regina-king

{ TIED FOR FAVE PANTSUIT OF THE NIGHT }

kathryn-hahn

{ WITH HER. }

octavia-spencer

{ AND HER. }

But the center belt thing is throwing us off cuz it goes a little costume-y. We’re also T minus 2-seconds from a camel toe emergency. That said, she looks AMAZING.

felicity-huffman

{ Just for reference, this is a camel toe emergency. }

molly-shannon

{ SHE REAL PRETTY }

kristin-cavallari

{ OBVIOUSLY, SHE’S THE BOSS. }

Cuz just look at that pose.  Totally confused as to what she’s doing at the Globes but she does look good here. In a Cruella DeVille kind of way.

judith-light

{ A VISION }

…who matches her hot AF hubby, Chris Hemsworth, perfectly.

elsa-pataky

{ THE BACK OF THIS DRESS IS TO DIE FOR }

…and we can’t find a picture of it anywhere. This was really dainty and pretty… though her peach number from 2011 was our all-time fave. In any case, we adore her for how gracious, confident and down-to-earth she is.

emma

{ GOOOOOOD-NNNNESS-SUH! }

Is Chris Pine in new Brad Pitt? Exsqueeze me while I wring out my drawers.

chris-pine

Wait here’s one more for good measure. #whoooosh

chrispine_71stgga_vettri-net-08

{ WHAT TOO MUCH PARTYING LOOKS LIKE }

Ben looked like he’d been drinking for 8 days straight and hadn’t slept… Casey must be gearing up for his next role as a caveman but we love him, and that win was SO, so well deserved.

ben-and-casey

{ BEST EVERYTHING }

I die. We die. Best (male) speech of the night, best dressed, best baby daddy… best everything. I swooned and (I think) audibly moaned every time he came on screen. What a dream boat.

{ LAST AND MOST IMPORTANTLY }

The woman who had no voice last night had the biggest voice in the room, times infinity. Just when we thought she couldn’t get any more bad a$$. #merylforpresident

PS: Dear Kate Hudson, Kate Winslet, and most of all Joan Rivers – we missed you last night.

That’s all we got! Who were your faves?? What did we miss?

xoxo,

Steph & Karrie